Battle Royale XXXIX

39th career meeting. Nadal leads 23-15. 5th meeting at Roland Garros. Nadal leads 5-0. Nadal has not won the last 5 meetings, and not beaten the maestro for 5 years. These are just numbers. Just numbers. But Federer-Nadal or as is called ‘Fedal’ is the rivalry that cuts across tennis history and dare i say any sport.

Starting way back in Miami, 2004 a teenager in 3-quarters with biceps brooding over came up trumps against a guy who had opened his account GS records with a couple in bag and was destined to write history books. Nadal won that one, but who would have thought that during the next 15 years it will become the cult match that it supposedly is. In the inital few years, both were a regular feature at the business end of any major but especially French and Wimbledon, they went loggerheads in finals in 3 occasions in as many years. Nadal has troubled Federer in the dirt to an extent which made him question if he is even good enough to win this, and Federer was trying really to save his fort in SW19 but he lost the crown in the dream final of 2008.
Nadal’s top spin to Federer’s backhand has had him in lot of troubles which has given him an absolutely runaway advantage on Clay court, but Federer’s game suited best to fast courts has won all but Nadal’s game.

What makes this match special is not the talent they show off on the court...but the charisma they have off it. They are the best examples of a sporting rivalry. You can think of any generation and name Ronaldo-Messi, Tendulkar-Lara, Joe Frazer Vs Muhammad Ali, Michael Schumacher- Hill, Armold Palmer-Jack Nicklaus but nothing when compared to gladiators on the court trading blows baseline to baseline, corner to corner. Its been 15 years, but dare i say passion has diminished. That hunger, that zeal to have one extra point, one more break chances, one more game, one more set, one more match and hence, one more championship is what these nerves of excellence has been built upon.

Federer’s decision to return to clay after 4 years at the sunset age for tennis players of 37 was definitely applaudable for tennis fans across but if someone had a bet that he will play French Open semis against Nadal would be a rich guy today. Not sure how many out there would bet for it. Federer has acknowledged that road to Clay’s glory goes through Nadal and that is a testament to Nadal’s phenomenal record on this surface (11 French Open).
But, and this is a big but, this rivalry has surprised everyone at some point of the career, even at 37, Fedex has the game to surprise Nadal. Now, that is a testament to Federer’s longevity coz he still commands that authority he cannot be a pushover even in the dire scenario especially against his arch nemesis.

The hallowed Parisian clay will witness one of the strangest matches in the history, let alone they will witness the history. This is Nadal’s territory, pressure will be on him, but Federer at 37 may have some new tricks up his sleeve (his renewed early take up on backhand has made Nadal not that a potent force against him post AO Final in 2017).

NYT writes “What is clear is that dueling from the baseline and the baseline alone would not have worked against Wawrinka on clay, just as Federer knows it won’t work against Nadal. But when you have played someone 38 times, there can be few surprises.”

The battle, perhaps, is not on the court as much it is on the nerves and the mind. We are ready for #39. Vamos Rafa for me!

Attention-distraction

Few days ago while on a bit of recess from office work, i scrolled through my twitter feed. Read the following tweet from Pico Iyer, a well known writer “I check my messages once an hour and then wonder why I’m feeling so restless and distracted. If ten new messages are lying in wait for me, i feel burdened; if none at all, i am crushed. We run from where our happiness lies and then ask ourselves why we’re feeling confused.” Comments to this had a link to New York Times article titled “A texting driver’s education”. I read that article. What i found inside the article was a gold mine.
A deadly wandering by Matt Richtel is one important read of my life. Reggie Shaw, a teenager on the morning of September 19, 2006 hit the car with two rocket scientist in it while texting and driving on a highway in Utah, United States. This book is his redemptive journey - from denial to acceptance and ultimate realization- post this accident, and author’s brilliance in explaining the science behind this. This book is not just a one off story of redemption, but a social tale of void technology has created.
Richtel not only describes the series of events in the life of Reggie Shaw (Teenager), families of the victims, family of the accused, but looks at the entire history of cognitive neuroscience. From the origins of World War II, helping pilots and radar operators save lives by not being overwhelmed by the technology to later MRI brain studies of multi-tasking and what came to be known as attention science. The writer elaborates how distraction and attention is a null-set. They do not marry. And also that, distraction is borne out of our own desires. We are distracted because we want to be.
The book talks about two types of attention “top down” (what we want to focus) and “bottom up” (what takes us by surprise). We live in a world of smartphones, inherent nature of it is seductive and which uses both of those approaches.
The driver in the story, is from the generation of smart phones. It takes about 2 years for him to accept that fact that he was actually texting while driving and how - after a doctor’s testimony in the court- he was distracted by the same which led to the wreck and killing. He, then accepted blame. His floodgates open. He cries incessantly. He starts his redemptive journey well before court has sentenced him. He goes about describing the harms of text and drive and the importance of having a law. He speaks about it in the state congress to very much awe of the law makers. Looking at this, judge comes to a conclusion of only 30 days of jail for negligence and community service which is subsequently reduced to 18 days seeing his behavior in jail. He lives his life, thereafter in trying to say what is right and explain what he did was wrong to save any lives he can against 2 lives he lost.
Richtel summarizes the harms in the use of technological seduction in a world we live. Our bodies love the little hit of dopamine we get each time we check our phones for something. Too much technology can corrupt our soul he says. Anyone interested in attention science as a branch of cognitive neuroscience should read this book, it is one of its kind.
Technology companies, social media are built on these premises of human psychology. We crave for what we enjoy. The dynamism of these devices/applications makes it unique. This book is a seminal work on the need for society to understand the harms of these more than the good it brings. We are being emotionally hijacked by our drug-type crave for instant gratification.

Letter to younger self.

To, 

My Younger self,

I wish to write to you telling you what might come in your future.

You are only 17 years old. You were born with a differently abled heart which has been made perfect medically. You have gone through crests and troughs of a different making. You have been tested all along. There have been tough situations and will continue to live with it. But remember, you will be able to give your best only when you keep your head above the shoulders and do not let success get into head. 

You are in Ninth standard, and you are facing one of the most difficult period in life. Your school is getting de-affiliated and with you having to face tough choice. You will have a choice either to repeat one year of your school life or pass Class X with National Institute of Open Schooling. Again something not of your making. You will choose the latter. You will feel let down. You will feel embarrassed. You will feel disgruntled. Because you never thought that is the choice you ever had to make in life. Never had to face things which are not meant for yourself. But still, you will keep your head high. You will believe. You will believe what you chose is the best possible thing you can do.

You will spend a year thinking I do not belong here. I am better than this. I deserve better. But you will have no choice as usual. You cannot run away. You continue to persist. You continue to thrive. You near your finals exam when you face another daunting task. You do not get your admit card. You wait till one day prior to exam but you don’t get it. You get it only on the day of your exam. Your heart will be in the mouth all the time, but you will still believe that there may be good things inshore at the end of the day. You face the worse after the exam. When all your friends see the results your roll number will be displayed invalid in the computer screen. You will feel the filth. You will feel the dirt on your body. You will feel that my only choice is to die. Die to relieve yourself from this pain. Pain of last 2 years. You will be disheartened. But remember, there is light at the end of the tunnel. You will get the result 2 days after everyone sees it. 2 days of mayhem. 2 days of solitude. 2 days of foodless life. 2 days of cursing. 2 days of panic attacks. You will feel let down. But you carry on, with tears in your eyes and belief in your heart somewhere thinking “This too shall pass"

You got to be strong.

Life will throw you bouncers, you will know how to duck. Life will throw you beamer, but you cannot go to an umpire and complain. You need to get up and be ready again.

You will get into a proper school but offered Commerce as against your first choice Science. Your dream of becoming a doctor will be squashed. Your passion to learn about heart is will forever be damned. School will only offer you commerce without mathematics as one of its subject. You will fight. You will argue. Your will win your rights. You will get it. 

You work hard. What people get without a fuss you get with a pain. That will be the difference between you and your entire group of peers. You will struggle to find a reason why you always, but God will always have a special plan for you. You need to remember that always. 

You get through school with decent marks and enrol yourself in Chartered Accountancy, again not one of your first choices. You want to be an Economist, but marks did not allow you to pursue that. You will join the firm for internship. You will be thrown in the corporate mud with not so matured head. You will travel alone outside your home city. You will have to manage your stuffs for which you always had the back of your mother. You will feel alone in the battle of minds. You will be taught to “Open your ears more than mouth” and you will keep this lesson along with you forever. 

You will become mentally strong. You will become guarded. You will become self-aware. You will go onto become a CA by toiling, sweating, allowing tears to roll through. You will make your parents proud. You will make yourself a person who can stand and say to life Vamos!

You will work for one of the respected companies in the world. You will get the job on the 2nd day of placements. And fastest on that very day. But you will never own that place. You will feel I could be at better place. You will leave the job on your terms. Without an offer in hand. You will live your life on your own terms. You will survive. 

Never restrain yourself to anything. Believe in life always. You will be bogged down more than you think you deserve. You will have to fight for your rights always. You will never get things dished on a plate. You have to snatch it at times. Be rigid. Work hard. Be determined. Be thoughtful. Be respective to the situation. Take care of your parents. Read more. You have a future ahead of you. You will face situation crying mercy, but you will come out of it stronger.  You will be asked thousands of questions by life, in life, from life, but you need to find answers within. You need to find a reason to be positive. Because that’s all is meant to be.

At the end of the day always remember these lines from your favourite poem “If” - “If you can meet with Triumph and disaster And treat those two imposters just the same; Yours is the earth”

Joy

I must admit i cried yesterday. Cried after seeing india rejoicing in the series victory in Sydney. That was a surreal moment in our history, and in our lives. Remember, growing up in Winters in all of India tours to Australia only to sleep back after seeing India 70/4 or 100-0 before lunch. That was a routine. We were half-hearted in our approach, in our strength, and we sometimes showed up just to compete. A century here, 10 wickets there was like a glimmer of hope to arouse only to be shoved back in that speed of time. We never had the quality to beat Australia in their own backyard, to put it simply. As a fan, it was annoying, disgusting to see the country loose without a fight, without a spine every single time. 2003-04 we came close to winning, i remember getting up on the last day of the Sydney test hoping to feel what i feel now. A series win in the offing. But a certain Steve Waugh batted like he wanted to do everything before its curtains on his cricketing career. He denied India the victory. 2007-08, we became guilty of faulty umpiring, some tough calls, we lost the series. We were not good enough on the next 2 tours, a team was finding its feet with new players coming up the ranks. 

Come 2018, a passionate captain, a character to envy for, energy to die for marched his troops and India won the series here. I repeat, India has won the series in Australia. More than the numbers of it, it is emotional. It is something we have dared to dream for 71 years, it is that rivalry which can be compared only to Ashes. This was the dawn of a new cricketing team. Indian team which believed in fast, pace, grit, determination, hunger, desire, and as Ravi Shastri said “even willing to jump a cliff to make the country win”. That was missing. In a team sport, character of the team rubbing off on each individual defines how far you are going to go sometimes. Pujara batted like his family resides in the pitch and he wanted to be with them forever. Bumrah bowled with immaculate strength. Kuldeep Yadav in last test match, showed the art of wrist leg spin still alive. All these special feats, special display of talent was enough to carry the entire team on its shoulders.

I have lived all my life to be able to experience this. Comparing this team to any other indian touring side would be a dis-service to this as well as past tours. They were different. You cannot compare Sachin Tendulkar with Virat Kohli. That’s just not on. Styles different. Era different. As a fan, we need to cherish what’s been served. This feeling, this poignant emotion of invincibility doesn’t come often. This is not just the victory of a cricket team, it is such that nation has won its long standing cricketing battle. It cannot be better than this. Team sport as in any sport is battled in the mind first, and what happens on the field is just a reflection of what your mind is at. That is exactly why, this is special. India conquered its mind first, to win its battle on the field. Upwards and Onwards.

World book day

Why to read? On World Book day...

We read to know the truth, but the in the era of Social media when truth is also optional (depending what your leanings and biases are), we should read to learn how to judge a truth. How to segregate between the theories. What is important is to have an ability and gumption to pursue what is truth and what is not. Because there can be only one fact. In today’s world with the plethora of stories with dozens of version, it is like finding a needle in a haystack as it is finding what makes a genuine story. Reading expands your horizon just to establish that very fact. We are surrounded by people who will put falsified, unverified facts in your head, judgment becomes key because that differentiates you between the ordinary and erudite.

I have been very disturbed over the past few days regarding some of the conversations I have had with a close friend. Just to share an example, it is about the Kathua Rape case in Jammu. This goes like, friend shared an unverified video with me about an absolute opposite version of what had been in the chargesheet filed in the court of law. It was a 13 minute long video where this gentleman ranted about that the girl was not raped, she was murdered by the rohingya immigrant, temple was not busy, and body was thrown there rather than all the facts about it. I saw the entire video not because I believed it but I wanted to understand the gravity of disillusionment. I texted that friend of mine, what made you share something such an alternative reality. His reply I cannot hear anything against Hinduism, as so have been pointed out in various sections of the social media. To that friend of mine if you are reading it, you had made a judgment that they have pointed out something bad about Hinduism so you shared the untruth. You had an implicit bias not against Hinduism but against the truth. You never had the ability to know what the reality is, not a Chargesheet filed in the court of law but a story concocted to suit a narrative just to the people like you who has a half cooked brain. You are the source of communal words in this country not because you are saying it but after having been educated like you have, you do not possess the sense of judgment. You are not saying anything wrong, but you are sharing something wrong as good as this is your opinion. In the world of social media it is easy to get instantly offended too as you get instantly gratified too, but you loose what is called the basic tenet of human discourse, FACT. So evolve, learn and read. You are literate but not educated. My friend, you are disillusioned. Get well soon!

With unverified accounts, with ability to just rant on for days without a sense of reality is a new normal. Yes, it is a new normal but a sad normal. This is the source of division in this age. Humans have evolved over a long time to face major challenges in our lives, we built great systems to overcome those. This is a new challenge in front of us. I may not be the best person to take such an advise from, but I definitely am speaking from the sense of responsibility from what I have seen. The best piece of advise I can give is atleast not share something you have personally not verified and have the ability to listen. Speech is silver, silence is golden. And have some belief in the institutions of the rule of law (Court/Police). I know there are more free criminals than ones in the jail, but your duty as a responsible ordinary citizen is to call wrong wrong. Not ‘What about that…’ ‘But…’. The moment you utter whataboutery of something, you are a concocted human being who is suppressing the truth to force your own agenda and put it on people.

Thomas Friedman says ‘You cannot survive for 40 years by learning only for 4 years’. Learning and evolving is a continuous process. Now this is an amazing line. It is such a blatant truth in a changing world. What is important now may not exist tomorrow. What will exist tomorrow, will change by the time you reach tomorrow. So how do you prepare yourself? By knowing, by understanding the underpinnings of the world, by acknowledging what is making a difference in this generation to this generation by this generation. And how do you do that? Read. Read to know. Read to understand. Read to acknowledge.

World book day is a UNESCO organized event to promote reading, publishing and copyright. I would extend that to a bit of education as well. Read Memoir of JD Vance to know why we are at a stage where the world goes blind right, read Scott Gallaway to know what difference technologies are making in our lives going forward, read Abhinav Bindra’s autobiography to know what it takes to win medals in an individual Olympic sport from india.  read Hit Refresh to know who Satya nadella is what made him what he is and what is he doing. Read to expand your horizon more than anything. Read to extract. Read to gain. Anyone can read words, but what you do with that counts.

We are at a major cornerstone in human generation, something which world has never seen before. I wish to be optimistic, but I know I would have to work very hard to be that way longer. Would end with a quote that summarizes everything above “Think before you speak. Read before you think”. Happy World Book day!

Blindspot...a mystery in our brains.

Blindspot written by Mahzarin Banaji and Anthony Greenwald, is a compelling book on our impulses, our reactions based on already stored information in a part of the brain which as a conscious person we are not aware of. It talks about years of research done in the field of psychology to arrive at a conclusion that we as a humans, have stereotypes inbuilt in our brains which is a major reason for our talk, reason, action, reaction. Using the Implicit Association test (IAT), writers make you aware of dangerous realities inside your brain that for example you are a “White” racial person even though you would deny that in the open setting. It is a very important study of human characteristics and tell you why you think the way you think. Stereotypes are not acquired, it is built over the years of data, seeing things around, seeing people around, culture, religion etc. We humans, have the great capacity to imprint what we see, and that becomes a basis of our action, the need to rationalize or act according to a situation is over-awed by the automatic reaction side of our brain. We remain oblivious to our hidden biases and it influences our behavior towards members of various social groups and our ability to take rational decisions.

Tons of IAT done on all types of human races: Americans (White or Black), Asians, Hispanics, Europeans have revealed that we live in a polarized society which forms opinion not entirely on the facts of the case but by something which we historically came to believe not knowing that that is stored in brain and we are not aware of this shortfall. The word psychologists use to capture the cracks in system is dissociation., which encompasses so many of humankind’s contradictory attitudes and behaviors that it ranks among psychology’s most powerful concepts. Here’s a definition: Dissociation is the occurrence, in one and the same mind, of mutually inconsistent ideas that remain isolated from one another. Author writes, it is the barrier between the dissociation (Reflexive or rational mind and Automatic or intuitive mind) that IATs were designed to reveal.

The question of why is it important to know what’s in your brain also comes up, because it could be devastating for an individual to know his/her certain innate biases which he/she all along has acted against it or atleast talked opposite in public. It could lead to sadness or even cause distress. “It undermines the image we have of ourselves as largely fair-minded and egalitarian”, authors note. Continuing forward, book explains what Japanese Poet Ryunosuke Akutagawa said “What good is intelligence if you cannot discover a useful melancholy”, in simple terms it means that knowledge that provokes a feeling of distress is only of value if it can be put to some use. In the books’ terms, authors writes ‘Of What value is it to have developed tests like the IAT that reveal the darker sides of our selves.

In one of the striking examples of favoritism or hidden bias, is a story of Carla Kaplan. Carla Kaplan was an assistant professor of American Literature at Yale in late 1980s. To paraphrase the story here, Carla was a dedicated quilter. One evening while washing a crystal bowl, it accidently slipped from her hands. The jagged edge of the broken bowl slit her hand from mid-palm to wrist. She was taken to a nearby Yale affiliated New Haven hospital. Her boyfriend explained to the attending doctor that she is a quilter so she needs a special attention and hand to be treated in a way she can start quilting again. He feared injury might impair the fine motor control she needs for the activity she loved. A student volunteer saw Carla, and said “Professor Kaplan”, for which the doctor asked “You’re a professor at Yale?”. She was then rushed to the surgery department and the best hand surgeon from Connecticut was called in to treat and restore Carla’s hand. So she was treated specially not because, she was just another patient but she was a Yale Professor. A classic example of in-group favoritism.

This books is full of such examples where authors runs you through your daily life and give you examples which can shock you and can enlighten you at the same time. It is important for us as part of a millennial to know what we are acting upon. It is important we understand that if our actions are based facts/rationales or we are acting on false impulses stored in some part of the brain which can be dig upon. Human mind is a dangerous thing, which is why we have whole branch of science dedicated to it. But when it comes to acting upon a certain shortfall inside us, it rarely falls upon the realms of scientific research but only upon one individual. You. I will end this piece by quoting a part of the book below which will remain with me and I wish to pass on:

“The reflective aspects of our mind allows to imagine a future that improves on the present state of affairs, to achieve settled upon and consciously chosen goals and values. Knowledge is indeed powerful, and self-knowledge achieved by taking the IAT can exert its power by unsettling existing views of one’s mind. If that happens, the melancholy produced by the IAT will indeed by useful.”

Father and Son..

“I was once like you are now, and I know that’s not easy

To be calm when you’ve found something going on

But take your time, think a lot

Why, think of everything you’ve got

For you will still be here tomorrow, but your dreams may not”

The lines above is from 1970 Song ‘Father and Son’ by Cat Stevens. Stevens said in an interview later that ‘Father and son is for those who can’t break loose'

I have been given similar guidance from, who is my best friend first, My dad. I am his one down.

From bringing the best cricket balls available to newest note books in the market.

From getting me a carom board, the boxing gloves and basketball to making sure I play those. (That is where my sports love comes from)

From playing cricket with me to taking me to a cricket stadium.

From instilling curiosity to read to reading a story to me

From setting my room in a balcony for my study to writing my debate speeches and preparing me for quizzes.

From calling me sharp 9 PM to know if I have left office to not sleeping till I have reached home.

You are the epitome of what a Father should be. A son’s best friend. A fatherly figure embedded with a friend’s care and bonding.

You are my Morrie (from Tuesdays with Morrie) and Rocky Balboa wrapped in one. (Mental Strength and Core Strength

Have learnt a lot from you, but the most significant learnings come from the harshest of situations. And it was during a certain crises, that those lessons of compassion, resilience, resistance began to define my character for toughest periods. Thoughts do not change like the flip of a calendar but it takes huge amount of time to process inside and you realise later what is right and what is not

I have been blessed to be able to have that conversation with you about life, which impacts my thoughts and probably my decisions because Father and Son could be a trickiest of relationships with generational gap. Empathy: an ability to think from different perspective and then react to it, probably the most important lesson delivered time and time again. This is invaluable, because now being in the corporate world, it becomes a potent weapon

You have lived long enough to know why a certain situation exist as is, and which is exactly why during a crisis of thoughts, during a struggle for answers you are my No. 1 goto person.

I miss you more because, i am not able to call you at 6 in the evening to order what i want, to command a son's voice, or keep my wallet near yours to let you know i need money. But guess this is my toughest battle underway, and probably i need my toughest and staunchest critic by my side. Who makes me take the right path forward.

“It’s only when you grow up and step back from him-or leave him for your own home-its only then that you can measure his greatness and fully appreciate it”, could not have resonated more beautifully.

I was always your student and friend first, and then your son. And probably this is how it would always remain.Probably that sums up what I have been saying. Again, Thankyou is not enough. Happy Father’s Day Papa!! See you Soon!!