To,
My Younger self,
I wish to write to you telling you what might come in your future.
You are only 17 years old. You were born with a differently abled heart which has been made perfect medically. You have gone through crests and troughs of a different making. You have been tested all along. There have been tough situations and will continue to live with it. But remember, you will be able to give your best only when you keep your head above the shoulders and do not let success get into head.
You are in Ninth standard, and you are facing one of the most difficult period in life. Your school is getting de-affiliated and with you having to face tough choice. You will have a choice either to repeat one year of your school life or pass Class X with National Institute of Open Schooling. Again something not of your making. You will choose the latter. You will feel let down. You will feel embarrassed. You will feel disgruntled. Because you never thought that is the choice you ever had to make in life. Never had to face things which are not meant for yourself. But still, you will keep your head high. You will believe. You will believe what you chose is the best possible thing you can do.
You will spend a year thinking I do not belong here. I am better than this. I deserve better. But you will have no choice as usual. You cannot run away. You continue to persist. You continue to thrive. You near your finals exam when you face another daunting task. You do not get your admit card. You wait till one day prior to exam but you don’t get it. You get it only on the day of your exam. Your heart will be in the mouth all the time, but you will still believe that there may be good things inshore at the end of the day. You face the worse after the exam. When all your friends see the results your roll number will be displayed invalid in the computer screen. You will feel the filth. You will feel the dirt on your body. You will feel that my only choice is to die. Die to relieve yourself from this pain. Pain of last 2 years. You will be disheartened. But remember, there is light at the end of the tunnel. You will get the result 2 days after everyone sees it. 2 days of mayhem. 2 days of solitude. 2 days of foodless life. 2 days of cursing. 2 days of panic attacks. You will feel let down. But you carry on, with tears in your eyes and belief in your heart somewhere thinking “This too shall pass"
You got to be strong.
Life will throw you bouncers, you will know how to duck. Life will throw you beamer, but you cannot go to an umpire and complain. You need to get up and be ready again.
You will get into a proper school but offered Commerce as against your first choice Science. Your dream of becoming a doctor will be squashed. Your passion to learn about heart is will forever be damned. School will only offer you commerce without mathematics as one of its subject. You will fight. You will argue. Your will win your rights. You will get it.
You work hard. What people get without a fuss you get with a pain. That will be the difference between you and your entire group of peers. You will struggle to find a reason why you always, but God will always have a special plan for you. You need to remember that always.
You get through school with decent marks and enrol yourself in Chartered Accountancy, again not one of your first choices. You want to be an Economist, but marks did not allow you to pursue that. You will join the firm for internship. You will be thrown in the corporate mud with not so matured head. You will travel alone outside your home city. You will have to manage your stuffs for which you always had the back of your mother. You will feel alone in the battle of minds. You will be taught to “Open your ears more than mouth” and you will keep this lesson along with you forever.
You will become mentally strong. You will become guarded. You will become self-aware. You will go onto become a CA by toiling, sweating, allowing tears to roll through. You will make your parents proud. You will make yourself a person who can stand and say to life Vamos!
You will work for one of the respected companies in the world. You will get the job on the 2nd day of placements. And fastest on that very day. But you will never own that place. You will feel I could be at better place. You will leave the job on your terms. Without an offer in hand. You will live your life on your own terms. You will survive.
Never restrain yourself to anything. Believe in life always. You will be bogged down more than you think you deserve. You will have to fight for your rights always. You will never get things dished on a plate. You have to snatch it at times. Be rigid. Work hard. Be determined. Be thoughtful. Be respective to the situation. Take care of your parents. Read more. You have a future ahead of you. You will face situation crying mercy, but you will come out of it stronger. You will be asked thousands of questions by life, in life, from life, but you need to find answers within. You need to find a reason to be positive. Because that’s all is meant to be.
At the end of the day always remember these lines from your favourite poem “If” - “If you can meet with Triumph and disaster And treat those two imposters just the same; Yours is the earth”
