‘Ankur, kuch khayega kya?’ (Ankur, Will you have something?)
The above line comes at 2 in the morning when I am hard pressed in completing my final touches of a CA exams due in the coming hours. It was 6 Novembers ago.
That is not just the call of a worried mother getting up in the middle of the night to see what his son is up to, it is about any help she can be for to pass his exams.
That is call for affection.
That is as beautiful and romantic or if not more than Sachin’s straight drive, Rehman’s melody, Kishore da’s voice or Gulzar’s words.
That is an aroma I have grown up with from my childhood.
That is the inspiration which drives me to work now.
There is no better feeling in the world, and I repeat NO better feeling in the world to see your Mother happy because of you.
That feeling of being in the mother’s shadow overshadows any amount of comfort you can experience anywhere in the world.
That having to submit a list of foods I wish to eat before arriving home is like the best checklist I have prepared.
That love which is so unconditional, that it does not cost you a penny and no ROI formulas attached to it.
That love is not a zero sum game, where you only get only even if you don't give.
Where there is no expectation.
Every human on this earth, has one common factor which binds it – the fact that you are born out of someone’s womb.
That womb may be dead, lost, forgotten, thrown, fought off, you may have broken off, but fact remains the womb carried you for 9 months before you saw this world.
I have a relationship with my mother, which transcends emotions. She loves me without expectation as every mother does, she misses me when I am away as every mother does, she cooks superb like every mother does.
She took care of me when I was battling myself with situations, circumstances, and faith. She told me there is always light at the end of the tunnel. She taught me that first fight you need to win is fight with yourself. She taught me the meaning of love. She taught me the meaning of ignorance. I can never be as great as her, but i can atleast try. When I was down and out, she said even Sachin faced a difficult phase, even great lived in the streets, even your own dad faced tough situations, but never lost hope. She helped me clinged on to that one last hope which makes the difference between survival and defeat. She has two hearts, she even thinks with Heart imprinted on brain because Love is an emotion which comes only out of heart not from brain, and she has only Love. She taught me what giving it back means. She taught me you can earn big, you can go heights, but only thing that will keep you happy is to look from where you started. Humility is not a virtue, it is an art. Empathy is not what you possess, it is what you practice.
I cannot imagine her pain, when she would have seen me going into an Operation Theatre several moons back when I was just 4, but I remember listening this story from her that she told her crying husband it is fine, he is going inside to get treated. That moved me by leaps. A mother seeing her 4 year old getting operated but still had the temerity and composure to bring stillness in the scene. It is epitome of elegance, virtue and candour. This is how life is, she said. She gave a mighty hearty. There is one debt you carry it on the death bed, it is your mother’s love which you cannot repay.
I live out of country now for work but every day of my life while navigating through the hassles of the corporate life I miss the stillness of my house, the voice of my Lata Mangeshkar, the charming aura of my mother, the beautiness of her soul and her ever flowing love towards me. I am all because of her. For the world she is mother, but for me she is not just the world, but every single space and breath that exists in it. There are times when you feel just leave everything and go back to the most sacred place on hearth, but you cannot do that because, even here, your mother’s happiness lies. She is happy that I have come thus far fighting demons within myself and around me.
Mummy, your story cannot end. It cannot end ever and ever. You are the most important thing that is present on this earth and shall always be. Mitch Albom famously said, ‘There is a story behind everything. How a picture got on a wall. How a scar got on your face. Sometimes the stories are simple, and sometimes they are hard and heartbreaking. But behind all your stories is your mother’s story, because here is where yours began’
I cannot Thankyou enough. Happy Mother’s day.
